No, this is NOT funny and I hate everything today

Perhaps there's some evil conjuction of planetary bodies in my progressed natal chart this month. Perhaps the winds of change have briefly gone insane over Jo Daviess County and I'm sitting in the fallout zone. Or perhaps I just have a really shitty attitude today but, ya know what? I just hate everything.

I hate that I've gone to 2 different medical professionals over the past 3 years because my sinuses and ear hurt and they've both not done a damned thing to fix it, let alone even acknowledge there's a problem.

I hate that because of whatever is going on with my sinuses and ear, I'm dizzy most of the time and crash landed down my outside stairs into my gravelled lane turning my calf into hamburger and bruising not only my pride, but my elbow, ankle and ass.

I hate that my honey has to drive 2-3 hours to go to work every day resulting in us having to spend several days every week away from home and the critters staying with my relatives.

I hate that on three occasions, while staying with the relatives and working, 3 of my birds were killed and a fourth was mauled by perpetrator unknown just last week resulting in his death two days later. My favorite drake too. We'll miss you, Larry. Damn it.

I hate that my sweet, goofy, neurotic dog broke his damned foot three days ago and can't understand that at 114 pounds, he's not a puppy and can't crawl into my lap so I can kiss his owie and make it better.



I hate that my son called his adoptive parents with his new address last night and didn't call me.

I hate that the same son sprained his ankle so now he'll have to spend even more time in basic training and we'll all have to worry even more about whether he's going to graduate.

I hate that his girlfriend can't grasp that she should just mail him a letter no matter how busy she believes herself to be right now.

I hate that my sister doesn't get along with my parents and that my parents can't understand why.

I hate that my ex has successfully completed a program of alienating my step-kids from me and my family.

I hate that Chicago's North Shore elite has chosen this area to purchase land and build revoltingly expensive weekend homes thereby making it impossible for any of the rest of us to own property here.

I hate that we can't find reliable laborers or electrical apprentices who will show up for work and can read a ruler.

Oh hell, I hate a lot more than that but it's going to rain so I'd better go put the birds in and help the dog down the stairs so he can pee.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll have something nice to say.

What on Earth is WRONG with you people?

I don't normally get all caught up in the crises that keep coming around: tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes. I believe natural disasters are the Earth's way of shaking some of us parasites off her back. Maybe I'm not compassionate or perhaps I'm just overloaded with bad things and desensitized to them but for heaven's sake....what the hell is wrong with these people in LA?

It's mortifying what's going on down there. It's bad enough that people lost their homes and everything they own, but now they're looting and shooting at the helicopters bringing aid and generally acting like rabid animals.

And who is in charge down there and why the hell aren't they handling this? Where is FEMA? That's their job, why aren't they doing it? People are dying where they sit, armed thugs are roaming around stealing whatever they can get their hands on while other people are starving and dehydrating and dying. The conditions in the hospitals are beyond dreadful and those medical people have had no respite - they're trying to keep their patients alive without water and electricity.

At the risk of stating the obvious, someone needs to step up and start taking charge. They need helpful, strong willed people to give direction to the homeless folks, to direct the law enforcement and military presence so that noone is going in circles but rather are protecting the innocent and helpless and providing assistance where needed. They need food and water and clothing and the simplest of things: toiletries and someone to clean the damned bathrooms. There are people who are currently employed to do just that job so why aren't they still doing it? It's not a matter of being paid, it's a matter of doing what's right.

And ALL of you people down there who are in such dire circumstances.....act like compassionate people who are in a horrible situation - stop whining and blaming and start taking care of one another as best you can. Be thoughtful when you're hungry and tired and unwell. Stop acting like you stepped out of the "Lord of Flies", and start behaving like civilized people. Have you read "The Stand"? Maybe you should.

I turned on the tv this morning and up came Today. I really dislike those people but even more so this morning while they sat in their air conditioned studio in their designer clothes with the plasticized looks on their faces and bemoaned the horrific conditions in New Orleans and outlying areas. Put your money where your mouth is you arrogant, snotty brats. Get out of your fancy clothes, leave your safe and expensive homes and go help. You are public figures, they'll let you come. I want all of you handing out supplies and scrubbing toilets rather than sitting on tv saying "those poor people" - do something useful.

Since noone else wants the job, I'll be in charge...someone loan me an RV to set up as headquarters, get me a group of Mormon missionaries and church members, load me and some of my family up and we'll go get this thing organized. We'll take our own vehicles, we all drive trucks anyway so we'll have room to haul things once we're there. Get some of the militia groups to help put a stop to the looting and other illegal activities and to supplement the overworked legal and miltary presence already there. You might not like what we have to say but you'll damned well be in a better place than you are now.

Get those people some toilet paper and soap. Get the thugs off the street and get those choppers and trucks in with the supplies they need and for crying out loud, SOMEONE TAKE CONTROL OF THIS SITUATION.

Hill Climb

It's been suggested by a kind and thoughtful reader (Hi Ann!) that I explain the hill climb thing. Okay, so once a year a bunch of crazy motorcycle riders (not poster children for mental health, these guys) take their dangerously fast and powerful bikes and attempt to drive up a vertical hill.

This one just happens to take place in The Middle of Nowhere, Land of Cheese: Dickeyville, WI (I know, silly name). My camera loving sweetheart took me there on his (former) 1969 Harley Sportster and insisted upon taking a picture of me with a stupid look on my face - yep, the very same picture you see here.

So a bunch of bikers, largely Harley riders, go up to the land of cheese, watch crazy people drive up a vertical hill, browse through the swap meet booths (you don't really swap, you know, you buy or sell) and then go back home again. That's considered quite a fun event here in the land of tractor pulls and livestock auctions.

We went, we bought sunglasses and a new seat (his was KILLING my pelvis), we watched some crazy people - most notably an 80 year old man - drive, or attempt to drive, up the hill and then we climbed back on the torture machine and went home. Not a bad day all things considered.

The former Harley was sold this year so sweety wouldn't have to beat himself to death kicking the thing started anymore and we got instead a 1980 Harley with an electric start and a serious image problem. This winter's chore: turn this beast into a nice looking bike. But not MY chore.

I actually posted that particular photo because it's the only one on my camera and I haven't transferred my other pics to my new laptop yet. And since I'm sitting outside watching my critters do their critter type things, I wasn't about to go in the house and mess with the other computer. Not until winter comes and chases me out of the sunshine.

2004 at Hill climb 

What is it with bees?

I'm sitting here minding my own business....well, actually not my own but rather the business of an anonymous attorney with an witty blog, when a spider appears in front of my nose hanging precariously from the umbrella atop my glass topped deck table. I gave him a little swat with my ubiquitous fly swatter and went back to minding the business of the anon atty when yet another of those damned bees buzzes my head.

What is with these bees? They aren't the fairly harmless, little honey bees that just fly about sucking on tasty plants or even those huge, stupid, bumbling bees that never seem to be going anywhere in particular but rather are just lost in some big bee fog. Nope, these are huge, prehistoric, psychotic bees whose one goal in their brief lives seems to be to irritate me and the dog. And the dog is truly irritated. He hates flying things. He snaps at any fly that has the poor taste to try to land on him or even get to close to his lounging with its flightpath. This dog has no sense of humor or love for fellow things if they have wings and buzz.

So this same demon-spawned bee has buzzed me three times in 5 minutes. What the hell does it want? My lemon flavored vitamin water? Or is it some sadistic bee conspiracy aimed at cutting the last threads of sanity I have retained? Hmmm. Think I'll go find it and smash the bastard.

And just why the hell am I doing this?

Looking out over the Terrapin Valley, across the short strip of Illinois that separates my world from Wisconsin and the people of cheese, while ducks and geese, chickens and goats wander about and, on occasion, dart unsuspectingly under my feet almost losing their lives to my tread, I happen across an article on blogs and the use of which resulting in loss of employment to some. Amusingly, I decide to start one of my own. Noone can fire me regardless of what I say and perhaps I'll have a lot to say....or perhaps not. Not that life isn't interesting lately but what can I have to say that could be remotely interesting to anyone else?